Wayne, Michigan, Michigan Fest
There was news all day of wretched snowfall in the North - up to seven inches, they said. All of us, all five of us had to be to work the next morning, so we trembled and choked and wept in fear as we drove towards Detroit (Wayne, where Michigan Fest occurs every year, is just SW of Detroit). We took backroads all the way - two lane highways, driven only by Amish horse buggies, cracked up old farmers on tractor mowers, native american families with babes in swaddling clothes, families of bunny rabbits, and us in a massive blue Ford van.

There was a light rain. Our show was starting at 9:00 - all the way to Wayne for 30 minutes of rockin. Did we have any good food that day, any good food at all? We stopped at - what's the non-Denny's? The green one? You know the one I mean. Perkins. Tim was convinced that it would be slightly better than... than... than the one with the biscuits, the red one. Fuck! Tom something-or-other, right? What is the point! I'll never get anywhere if I can't remember something simple like what the fuck the red one with the biscuits is called!! Fuck!

Anyway, we had a choice, and we picked Perkins. Boy, this is some tangent, huh? I ate all sorts of things, and had them put cheesy sauce on my hash browns... disgusting.

Okay, enough about that. Perkins was lousy, that's my point. Bad breakfasts, maybe... though it did have a certain "je ne sais quois."

Maybe I shouldn't write these things in the morning. Maybe only at night when I've been drinking and I'm tired enough to know when to shut up. I can't stop now, though, so: we kept on driving and driving, and eventually we got to Wayne, Michigan. There was this big building, an Oddfellows' Hall or another 4-H club or a Moose Lodge or some home for cracked up farmers, and this building was surrounded on all sides by massive vans just like ours! Big and blue! And all the vans were spewing rockers! How could there be so many rockers? That sort of thing always amazes me. Hundreds, thousands of rockers! Young and old, snotty and sweet. Entirely male on this particular night, which after a few hours can get a little... smelly. Dull. Headache-y. But we were here, we jumped right into the stink, and oh it was a stink! Tons of kids, sitting cross-legged in circles on the floor, selling 'zines, playing with their video cameras, all loose-clothed & dirty. Rock & roll! Why didn't I have this shit when I was a kid? No wonder I became a deadhead, the punk rockers back then were just plain mean. Now they're basically deadheads.

I forget what happened. Someone who was good played for much too long; then Oxes played. That was something, as you know if you've seen them play: hugging and kissing the boys & girls & each other, racing around the room, climbing on tables & chairs & speakers & people, and somewhere in the midst of it playing something that is vaguely music-like, kind of like the dead only the guitars are made out of metal. It was a memorable event. I chuckled with glee.

I think we played that night, too, though it's kind of hard to say. There were a fair amount of attentive folks up front, but for the most part the rocker kids went back to their floor circles & mumbled. We can thrill the kids if we're in a small room, in someone's basement say, and it's loud, and there's alot of them, and it's hot, and everyone's excited, and we're loose, etc. But then who couldn't thrill the kids at that point? The bunnies could thrill the kids if they're hot & excited. The kids, not the bunnies. Maybe the bunnies. Maybe both!

Right. So - we played late, left late, and drove like wailing banshees through the night. We ate fast food. We were stalked by a TV-watching terrorist in a limousine! But when we stopped for gas & I confronted him, he turned into a sweetheart. Terrorists are like polar bears though. Don't trust the terrorists!

We did get to Chicago without hitting any inclement weather. All five of us made it to work the next morning. So please don't you worry about us.

Back to the list